Determination or Stubbornness?
"Winners never
quit, and quitters never win." is an inspirational dictum that we learnt
from our school days. Each of us will
have our stories and experiences how it worked out well in our education and
the career path we chose for ourself. While "Winners never quit"
helps in setting up goals and be successful in achieving them, in certain
instances, it has also made people, be unsuccessful in their respective work or
fail in their responsibilities especially in their leadership role. What could
be the reason?
During my tenure as a Church leader, some have described me
as a "determined leader" while others have seen me as a
"stubborn leader". Now in my retirement, I have begun to do some
reading and reflection which has inspired me to write this article.
The dictionary
definition of Determination and Stubbornness
Determination
The Oxford advanced learners dictionary defines it as the
quality that makes you continue trying to do something even when this is
difficult
Stubbornness
The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as the quality of being
determined to do what you want and refusing to do anything else:
Being determined and
being Stubborn is not the same thing
In the modern world, unfortunately, we get confused with the
two words, determined and stubborn, thinking they both are the same. But they
are not, in fact, "they are not even close to each other".
Stubbornness can never enrich a determined person.
Determination motivates a very positive behaviour of the
person in achieving his goal and he will function with positive emotions. It
will make the person persevere towards a goal despite obstacles and
difficulties.. He will be open to making and changing decisions as an when
necessary to reach the desired goals.
Stubbornness in a person indicates a resistance to change. A The stubborn person will not change his attitude, opinion and decisions. Those
around him will find it difficult to work or interact with him.
The primary difference
between determined and stubborn.
Those who have studied this subject in depth will tell us
that "Determination is characterized by 'will power.' while Stubbornness
is characterized by 'won't power'."
A person with determination will always endeavour to achieve
his goal, even though it is difficult because it is the right thing to do. He
will not look for things that are easy but look for the things that are right
and just. The determined person will say "I now realize that I was wrong,
how do I make it right". When obstacles and failures come up he will be
flexible and will work out a way to "go over, go under or go through the
obstacle." The motivational driving force behind him is "I
will".
A person of Stubbornness will not be willing to do some logical thinking when faced with obstacles to attain his goal. His style will be just pure disagreement saying "I can't be wrong" and will continue to be inflexible. It does not matter to him whether it is a rightful means or a wrongful means that will be employed to achieve his goal. He will employ himself in getting what he wants even if it is wrong. The driving force behind him is " I won't"
Moses & Pharo, were they stubborn or determined?
The best illustration I could site from the Scripture is the
battle that went on between Moses and Pharo. Both of them were leaders to the
people they represented
Moses displayed the character of a determined leader. The
words "Let my people go" from God to Pharo was the motto that made
Moses be determined. Letting the people of God go is the right and good thing
to be done as believed by Moses. Though frustrating many a time, Moses worked
through numerous obstacles, by making varied interventions through the ten
plagues to achieve his goal. Moses was
not saying, "I won't." with a spirit of stubbornness. Instead, he kept
on saying, "I will." because he knew it was for God that he had been
employed. That was very positive!
The stubborn man was Pharaoh. Over and over again when God
said, "Let my people go," Pharaoh said, "I won't." Pharo's
subtlety extends beyond that because he would say, "Well, you may go,
BUT…" There was always a caveat.
The Challenge for
present-day Leadership
Those of us who walk through the corridors of power in
providing leadership to Institutions, Churches and Nations do need to
understand this: "The difference between being stubborn and being
determined is how and for whom it is employed.". Pharo's Stubbornness was
based on his "Chariots and Horses". It was a self-centred one filled
with ego and such power only found himself against a wall, but the submission
of Moses to the determination of God for His people always found him a way to
move on. A stubborn person may look like determined. But if he is truly
determined he must let go the stubbornness.
Rev. Asiri P. Perera
January 23, 2021
Comments
Post a Comment