BISHOPS IN METHODISM

 

ENCOURAGE THE DEVELOPMENT OF SELF IDENTITY

In a world where corporate (including the religious communities & professions) lifestyles are fast spreading, how much space do we allow for self-identity? If a person is required to fashion or mould himself primarily based on the profession, how far will the person be able to maintain the uniqueness of the self? When the identity is shaped based on the profession, community or the people around us we can run the risk of things going wrong because you no longer know who you really are what your values and beliefs are. When you start relying on the above-mentioned external factors to form your self-identity, “only a little need to go wrong for you to feel lost, depressed and confused about who you actually are!”

Developmental Psychologist Erik Erikson, who has done extensive study on the ‘Identity Crisis’ has said that “the formation of an identity is one of the most essential parts of an individual’s life. The formation of an authentic, independent and unique self-identity is essential if you are to identify yourself beyond your profession.”  

When reflecting on these words of Erikson, I have begun to ask the question (as a person who had been involved in the training process of the Church), what is the emphasis we give to the self-identity of an individual when including them into the corporate life of the “Christian Ministry”? We train them on how they have to follow and adhere to the disciplines of the Church which gives them an identity as a Christian Minister. I believe that the “Christian Minister” identity is a Corporate Identity and not the self-Identity.

I wonder whether religious and corporate professions, keep a fair margin and an allowance to develop the Self Identity while adhering to the standards of Professional Identity? Isn’t some of the problems we encounter in the community today due to personal identity issues rather than the professional.

In a certain era in Sri Lanka, when marriages were arranged by the parents for their children, they looked for the professional identity. They would speak highly of the prospective in law as “a doctor, proctor (Lawyer), engineer, government servant and sometimes even a Christian priest. Does professional identity make a good husband or a good wife? Today we have to accept that the heart-breaking situations in modern marriages are mostly due to the personal identity crisis that the partners go through in their marriage. Forming the self-identity based on “your profession may pigeon hole you with an image that is not totally you which will impinge your personal interactions with others”.

According to Prudy Gourguechon of Forbes, the Psychiatrist and the Psychoanalyst, who is also an adviser to the business leaders has conducted a survey and found that those who retire do face an identity crisis. The primary reason is “after retiring from employment, many individuals have nothing to hold on to as their identity because they had formed their self-identity totally on their profession”. It can lead a person to various frustrations and depression due to the loss they experience. They miss the acclamations others made such as “You are the best leader”, “You know how to sort out a conflict”, “You are an eloquent speaker” etc.

In the light of this thinking, let me share how I handled my self-identity as I walked through the corridors of power as a Church leader, especially during the last five years. From day one of taking the seat of leadership and authority I worked hard not only to fulfil my responsibility and affirm my identity as a leader but also to search and affirm my self-identity. After my five-year term of leadership, I have been able to lay down my office, move out of the ‘system’ happily and confidently with no fears or anxieties of stepping down from office. I am now carrying my self-identity which I nurtured over the years. I marvel at the way how the good Lord has helped me to carry myself into retirement with no anxieties and regrets. I have reflected on this in the last few days and realized that my Clinical Pastoral Education experience in 1989 and 1990 has laid the foundation for this. It was during the CPE experience that I was challenged by my Supervisor (who happened to be a Methodist Minister) to nurture and develop my self-identity, apart from being a ‘Christian Minister” etc. Initially, it was not easy going as I had built my identity around certain people and their thinking which was stifling the inner self that was seeking to stand up and be myself. The end result was a paradigm shift I made which is unbelievable but was possible through the grace of God.

This is the reason why the person must search for and nurture his God-given unique self-identity. It will assist him in building a strong personal brand on which he can rely upon to get “through all the changing scenes of life, in trouble and in joy”

In my opinion a structured personal branding for those in both secular or religious professions must be encouraged. It will enable them to position themselves and make others know who you holistically are than just what your profession is.

Rev. Asiri P. Perera

November 11, 2020